In my two years of professional life
I have met him lots of time. He came in every size, age and habits.
Yet, every time he was same in some basic characteristics. So, I am
jotting down some of my thoughts on him after my silent observation.
I have spent a hefty amount of time with him and have patiently
listened to him (I don't normally listen to people) as his words are
irresistible. Hopefully my views matches with your view on him.
You treat this guy as God. He may be in
his forties or even fifties with or without gray hair. He may even be
still younger in his twenties. No matter what his age is, you all pay
him respect at least in front of him, if not at his back. So, as the
title says, I am interested in discussing what it takes him to get
such respect and how you could also join his club of earning it. So,
let me start with his traits at various phases.
At start-up phase
He talks a lot
Yes! The company is small but not his
words. He tells you what he has achieved in his past companies, how
he founded, worked and raised their values to millions or even
billions of dollars before they got sold off. You like his words and
so listen and work for him for a low salary. You want to be like him,
he is your super hero. He may not be wearing underwear over his suit
but you are enchanted by his words. His spells are more stronger than
those of Lord Voldomert in binding you to his garage.
“Garage” is
his buzz word
They say it all starts in a garage and
he knows it. He knows garage is a buzz word related to start-ups and
most of the successful companies like Google, Microsoft, etc have
their roots to it. It does not matter if this Garage is fully air
conditioned or not, for him, it is “The Garage”
His nose is more powerful than that
of the best police dog.
Good employees stink inside huge
company walls and even their boss can't smell them. But, our hero has
such a powerful nose that he can smell them out. He knows every
whereabouts of other companies employees and does every effort to
get them into his garage. Police dogs may sometimes fail at smelling
out criminals but he does not fail. He has built-in employee hunting
instincts.
More emotional than your mother or
girlfriend
You are the star employee and your
contribution outweighs all the stock options and meager salary (that
you get after a couple of months) you are getting. And, out of
frustration you have somehow got freed from his spell of words and
decided to kick his company. You go to his chamber with a resignation
letter and tell him that you are leaving the company like a young guy
telling his mother about breaking free from the bonds of home. You
have already calculated his reactions to your words in your mind but
still find his words tempting. He gets on the floor and starts
throwing tantrums like a spoil toddler when his mother is about to
leave home for some work. It includes loudly crying, shouting at the
top of voice and using every possible arguments to win back you. He
will tell you about his thoughts about you, how much you mean to the
company. After listening to his words, you start bargaining which is
the real reason for your decision. You don't have the guts to tell
him that you don't trust the stock options that he is offering and
that you want real cash. But, before you make any offer he does that.
He tells you that the stock values are increasing and next month he
will upgrade the options that you are getting. No cash even now. He
talks about the bonus and the other incentives. But, seeing that you
are not happy even now, he quickly turns discussing towards salary
which is simply a regular increment. You are dumbstruck and leave the
chamber silently.
At fully established, product
development and Revenue Coming stage
He talks a lot
I don't know if he knows anything else
than talking but he is still good at it. He may have changed in his
actions or physical look but not in his words. Now, his focus of talk
shifts from previous companies to his current company. He talks of
how he built his products and moved the current company from a
garage to a fully fledged corporate environment. It is his way of
showing progress even though garage was better, friendlier and
had a humane approach to deal with employees. The graph has somehow
gone up and he knows how to show that. So, he called it a garage at
first place and now is calling it a Infinite Loop.
But, you don't like it anymore and imagine a dog barking in front of
everyone. Perhaps this is the one progress you have made working for
him.
His smell power
decreases
Our dog nosed hero seems to have got
slower with age in terms of smell power. He does not seem to smell
out employees from other companies. Instead he is stinking now and
you have smelled him out. You apply to his company along with others
in long lines. He has his special gang whom he calls HR to perform
such tasks for him. He has taught them how to hunt for employees like
he did in the initial phase. He will tell them all day about it,
which is his strength. They will go to various job sites and top
universities to place their magnets which are good enough to attract
good number of irons to sort out.
He is never
wrong whatsoever
If you have done a good job, he will be
the first to give you bonus or appreciation. He comes near you with
his ever charming smile and tell you how hard you have worked and
hand you down a piece of bone to lick. You thank him for that
wholeheartedly and believe that he is the only good man in the world.
Good things don't always happen. If you do wrong and he wants to fire
you, then he will never do the dirty job. Instead, he will send his
jackals (HR or any other manager), who hunt you down and kick you out
the company door. And while you curse the whole company for this, he
comes by with that sugary smile and wish you good luck. Everybody in
company feels like hell to you except him. He is never bad.
You work like a
machine but still feel as best human being
Your day is made only for work. You get
up early and rush like anything to get there. You take your seat and
start working with the feeling that your work is the best work ever
and you are the best person in your company, even though you are just
like any other human machine working mechanical machine. He comes
around to each one of you, to tell you what an amazing job you are
doing and how much you can do to make it even more fun but in
reality, he is just applying daily grease on each of his machines.
Coffee: the
human petrol
If you go to any office of any kind,
you will find one dark, bitter liquid. He likes it very much and you
too. He likes it in the hope for making you work even more and you
like it in the hope of getting some relief from work. The former is
true but I have to still figure out if latter is right. Since both
are counter points, one of them must be wrong. It works by
stimulating human computing system to work more. In layman lingo,
they call it coffee. Even if the company is going down the drain, and
has nothing to buy, you will always find it there in its place. The
basic assumption is: if coffee supply stops, work also stops.
His hearing power has also decreased
With age his hearing power has also
decreased. He has all sorts of people around him, but is willing to
hear praises only which are loudest. He does not listen to silent
complaints that people are making. He has created hierarchical
network just to cut down any such voices. Those words are like
statutory warning that comes with every cigarette pack bought, for a
smoker.
Conclusion
He is a serious believer of “Monkey
Theory”. Fool one monkey and rest simply follow that monkey. So,
they rightly call him Entrepreneur which resembles
“hunter-par-nar” or “hunter-vanar”. If you want
to be like him, starting today, start talking and stop working. If
you work, you will work for someone but if you talk, you will talk
for yourself. If you find it hard to talk, then use a mirror. It is
the best talking partner for you until you have your first employee.
You can best learn it from your dog who barks all day without
imbibing the honesty trait.
Note: Throughout this blog I have
used “he” to represent entrepreneur without being gender biased
as females can be equally good entrepreneurs as males. This is done
just to shorten the blog by one alphabet. :)
I would like to thank Jagir for her
sincere editing of this post and to have patience for re-reading
other person's work.
