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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Similarities between the Connecticut shooting and Delhi Rape case event

It was the neighborhood of a so called “Apocalyptic event” as proposed by Mayans. Most people's eyes were in the heavens or Youtube's Gangnam style over signs of it. But, the signs seemed to be different. First, it was US, the third largest population of the world. It was morning of 14th December when a person drove to a school and massacred school going small innocent children and few staffs before killing himself. Second, was India, the second largest population of the world. It was the night of 16th December when a young medical student was brutally gang raped by a group of people in an area of urban security. Both of these incidents drew immense criticism from common people who were petrified by the brutality of the event. Social Networking sites like Twitter and Facebook saw massive rise in use over it. But, the important thing to realize is the similarity of these events apart from the fact that they happened on nearly similar period of time. Both of these events happened in two largest democratic counties of the world. Here I do not mean to criticize democracy by anyway but trying to apply my analytical mind over the events as they are present. Involvement of these events in democratic nation obviously meant demonstration from public in digital and outside form. But, the biggest similarity was the immediate debate that started over avoiding such events in future and deal with it. First thing to note that, though the brutality of event was unforgivable there had been worse event than them in the near past. Virginia Tech Massacre and Kunan Poshpora incident were events of worse brutality. But, the global media wasn't powerful then as it is now. Also, current events drew memory of brutality of previous events in the minds of people who cried for its end. The second aspect of these events is the approach towards solving them. Though everybody is fighting and calling for legislations against gun violence and rape, nobody actually knows what exactly to do. Actually, There are voices in support of such events from political lobbyists. In US, there are people who want to revoke gun laws and believe that allowing people to have gun (and that in pure isolation without government tracking) would make people more secure. But, as every sensible person would understand easy access to gun is the prime reason for such massacres in US. If you do not believe it, similar event happened in China during similar period of time where 22 children were hit yet nobody was killed. Worse yet, as bureaucrats struggle to make strong decisions over it, such events has been recurring ever after and gun companies are making huge amounts of sum from their sales as the possibilities of worse event looms in future. This is clear from the voice of president Obama who tried to clear his hands by saying “We Need Meaningful Action” without specifying what it meant showing lack of motivation of government agencies in tackling such issues. Similar is the case of Indian rape case. India has high rape rate with one rape being reported every 22 minutes. The current Delhi rape case was just a single one in a series of rapes where most of them goes unreported. Again, aftermath of the event saw massive protest from people. But, what about response from government side? They were towards politicizing it to avoid opposition parties pin pointing as much as possible and putting ruling party towards better position. Transport routes were shut, mobs were charged with lathis. Prime Minister tried consoling protesters by words. But in that process, the words of prime minister drew criticism in twitter. Later voices that directly criticized protesters too started erupting. All these proved that event was not so important from government agency's point of view. But, the final similarity which connects to the heart of these two events is this. Are the criminals the only guilty people? Aren't the society a breeding grounds for such events that silently motivates such crimes. With democratic society this becomes much more important because the thought of people defines not just society but the rules and legislatures. Hollywood movies are full of shooting and revenge is the basis of basic plot. Its very rare to find a Hollywood movie that opposes revenge as done by academy award winning movie In a better world. Also, American soldiers were involved in killing citizens in middle east countries and their videos was available in whistle blowing sites like wikileaks. Consider the effects of such events in the minds of young innocent children who consider them as hero and mimic them. Also, India is a place of bollywood. People from poor slum areas find solace in unrealistic plots of bollywood movies. Recently, bollywood movies are copying south tradition where bloody action, sex and revenge defines the basis of overall plot. This year was also the year when a porn star successfully acted in a bollywood movie. Consider the effect of such movies in illiterate young masses especially with the availability of porn movies and fashion projection of young females of growing middle classes. The final conclusion is towards where are we heading towards. Are we right in our decision in sending our children to school for learning who are getting killed, raped or bullied(ultimately suicide)? What can be done by us against such events? But, for that we need to know what is going on first and its cause. The best textbook explanation that I can give right now is the warning by Psychologist Phillip Zimbardo over the demise of guys which I completely agree with especially at psychological level and possible effects that it can cause to people overall (involving killing innocent people or raping girls). Again, I would like to end this by positive note saying nothing happens for bad. These events are recurring but lets hope we have realized the gravity of this issue at global level. Hope this holds key for change. We have entered an era where public realization is the most important thing and holds key to real revolution and not just political change.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Not worred for the end but excited about the start


As Dec 21 is nearing and so is the possibility of "end". What I truly believe is that this is will be the end of Dark Age not earth that we live in. The 3rd largest population of world saw the evil inside simple man when given Gun. I hope that they realize that "terror" comes not in a white turban saying Jihad but can be anyone with uncontrolled power. The 2nd largest population of world is currently enraged over similar event involving girl. Hope it helps them realize that uncontrolled passion is source of misconduct and again can be anyone. These events have been occurring in the past but I hope they have crossed their limit and will truly cause its own end. I hope that this realization will be truly decentralized and global event ending the shackles of this dark age and usher a new beginning where acceptance is truly global. I am not sad about the end but I am excited for this new beginning as I have always been.

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Are we ready for a Global World?



In a midst of global tension regarding recent killings of American ambassador over what was globally available in Internet on a very sensitive topic, a question quite important than current issues lies ahead of us. Are our technological products mature enough that we can let them affect ourself? Should our product be based on only one school of thought denying all others just because they disagree with prevalent ones? Isn't the purpose of technological advances in form of global media a common good for all?

World is fast connecting thanks to recent usage of mass media in form of Internet. Though Internet has been around a decade now, its use has been seen global only recently thanks to mobile world that allowed cheaper technology into hands of even poor of underdeveloped nations and also the rise of social media of all interesting forms like Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, etc. So for the first time its not hard for anybody in any part of the world to connect to a person from any other part of world. With this, ideas and views tend to get shared in a very rapid sense. It does not takes big marketing agendas to do that. It should have the right combination to attract mass and there you go. There are enormous example of this with Gangnam style being worth to be noted. A Korean song whose lyrics rarely mean anything to a non-korean yet became an instant hit worldwide. It is the first Korean song to top iTunes chart. Do you think a global mass of korean population or biggest marketing propaganda of Psy helped generate that demand? Definitely not. It was a global network of interconnection in form of social bond through facebook, twitter and other social services that helped boost it. All being said on positive side, this blog however deals with possible negative sides of it. Are we ready enough for this global connection? Are our psychological thinking flexible enough that it will allow us to break the age old bondage of traditional thinking that we are used to? Are we democratic enough globally to accept other people feelings equally and yet defend ours in a truly democratic way? Recent events show exactly the opposite.

The so called movie “Innocence of Muslims” whose trailer released in Internet brought about an unexpected effect involving life of few people including an American ambassador. It also added to the pile of Muslim frustration towards USA and Israel in this precarious period where people are already frustrated/petrified by either civil war (Syria) or recent revolution (Egypt, Libya). Lets not discuss about the movie or trailer as it should be known to almost ever creature in this planet now, thanks to the global media. Was this a real movie from some lunatic or just another hoax/rumor for wild publicity or even part of conspiracy made by some nation(like stuxnet), nobody knows for sure. It is not the first time such thing has happened. There were previous episode involving controversial cartoons, movie, documentary, writing, picture, songs, etc. But, long before, the impact was less given lack of penetration of global media. But, given global connection, this can have devastating effects. Technology supports viral media. Its designed in every sense to support sharing whether it be a song, video, blog, tweet, photo or even meme. As a software engineer it gives me immense pleasure to see new power it has given. But, being an ethical engineer its my duty to realize its possible flip part. When I view comments on youtube on one of those videos, I can clearly categorize commentators into broadly two groups. One group supports the idea while other opposes it. Each one group is based on what they have been taught to think as. I call them local knowledge. For example, a person born in US may have democratic and liberal thinking while one from North Korea may have a rather communist thinking where socialism is basis for life. Similarly, a person from country where free speech is practiced right from schools like Scandinavian countries might love to experiment on different ideas and philosophy and attack it trying to find possible flaws in it. But for a person from a country where traditional moral values are held foremost important and entire society is based on conserving it, the behavior might be exactly different. If you clearly study the different groups of commentators in social medias, you can easily understand that everybody derives themselves from one of those group of thought. Some may be corroboration of two or more group of thoughts while rarely you see people who will be neutral to these issues. The problem of global media is thus that it interconnects them without properly educating them about it and expects them to be ready for it and possible problems from it. Due to this, instead of a taking a shape of global feast where everybody learns and enjoys, it rather takes a nasty tug-of-war shape. It may seem to start from comment but its not hard to reach a level of war or atleast some kind of riot.

But, nobody is to take single blame here. That would be again a wrong conclusion to make. Simply consider episode of Mohammedan cartoons supported by danish media. If you study danish media in isolation to danish environment, it seems perfectly plausible. It is simply criticizing a view. If somebody likes it they can support it. If it offends someone they can turn to court for justice. Now, consider the Islamic world in isolation. The conservative rule that governs not just thinking but also government, strictly restricts any kind of criticism of any respects to religious issues especially related to prophet. Here religion is held more than just idea or view. It is a basis of life. It is something on the par of freedom of speech to a Norwegian or socialism to a communist person. Simply speaking, everybody has some kind of biasness for something based on their background. So, when we move these group from isolation and put them in global scenario things soon taste sour with unexpected results, recent one being just a small one.

How can one have people with opposing ideas in one place and at worst connected to each other without ever affecting themselves? Seems like its not an easy solution. It is something social scientists/psychologists have to figure out first and then implemented by policy bureaucrats and educational entrepreneurs into masses at global level. Should government allowing free speech, revisit the domain of what freedom includes? Should government trying to preserve a conservative thinking revisit rules for possible reactions, should they be violated by a foreign person in an alien country. This already seems quite infeasible to me given bigger problems of world and a greed of nations for more wealth and power. As a technologist, I will prefer limiting technology first before we try to limit ourselves. Its far easy to do that kind of thing than changing nations and at worst humans. Are every technological entrepreneurs concerned about what can be possible effects while they define the domain of their product? I am sure they will look at rules of their nation. But, what about global norms and local thinking of people in it. How will they react? How immune are these global media against hoaxes especially those around sensitive ideas like religion? Again it is dependent on these technological entrepreneurs who develop newer tools for global media to decide and act upon before its too late and we have a world full of hatred rather than a truly humane world.

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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Today's Relations


Problem with today's relationship is that they fail to take into account the fact that relations are like Mangoes in that they begin with a total sourness but in takes great patience and two sided faith to reach a state of sweetness. Most people simply blame the initial sourness onto their partners not knowing its a state of chaos inherent to every other thing in this universe.

It may first seem to be only romantic relations. In fact, this extends to other type of relations as well. This however may not mean those relations acquired out of birth like one with your parents or siblings. This means all those relations where we have independence of choosing partners with whom to have specific relation. It may mean a friend, a pet animal and even your profession where you are totally independent to choose with whom you want to pursue relationship with.

People successful in their relations all must have had horrific beginnings, a state of utter uncertainty. But, the continued stress for grooming it is all what is needed rather than total neglect or judging at first look.

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Friday, June 15, 2012

Why Money grows on Trees

Money don't grow on trees is a very old saying especially from parents who want to inculcate the habit of savings on their children. I have been listening this for all my life time. As I grew, Like most of words from parents, I observed different thing. Money indeed grew on trees. In good old days, that tree was natural and had natural growth and hence money supply was natural and uncontrolled. But, in current world of mass production that tree was genetically modified using technology. So, that tree now has enormous rate of growth.

So, logical connection between money and tree is simple. Woods grow from tree. Paper are created from Woods. And finally, money is created from paper. These days its not hard for bankers to create money. Recent recession was an example of good excuse for doing that. Printing billions of money is a matter of few greedy people reaching a consensus as to what each one gets and passing a bill. Normal people either don't have an idea about that or they simply don't care.

So, for normal people like my family that saying still holds pretty much true. But, for international bankers this does not. If you have any friends whose parent is an banker, ask what they said to him while s/he was growing. I doubt they said same what my parents did.

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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Mind-Mail: Comparing thought processing Mind with Email


Humans are made for thinking. We think lots of things: past and future and sometimes present. We are thinking machines that never pause expect in deep sleep. We even think when we yawn, “OMG what I am doing, stop it, stop it” but it wont stop. So, are other things in life. We cannot control all things in life yet we waste time thinking about it. Maybe its our default nature. We tend to think too much into past, regretting things we could have done but couldn't do. Also, we think a lot about future that has yet not presented itself. So, our mind is stuck processing two kinds of thoughts that constantly bombard our mind, past and future. Whats more interesting in them is that they generate two possible results. Some make you happy while some make you sad. The ones that make you happy are ones related to your achievement, your loved ones, your belongings, adventures, etc. And the ones that make you unhappy are ones related to lost things (people and money at top), fear for something that may get wrong, etc. So, our mind is constantly tacking various threads of thoughts that enter like stream, result of which are happy or bad mood.

So, our mind can be looked as your email box. Every thought that enters it is like an Email. That thought can be independent (like thought that comes when you get promotion for first time) or that are recurrent(every time your alarm wakes you from sweet dream on cold morning). The former is like independent mail and latter one is like email thread having same topic. In Email, there are two kinds of possible outcomes of when you open them. One is good one because you get some useful information like you got your promotion. Obviously, it starts a thread of congratulation emails in same thread for you. But, other type are spams that when open can do malicious things to your system and even to your personal life. They can crash your hard drive, or drop in some male-ware that starts sending personal information to remote server which can lead to anything. So, what is difference between both type of emails, nothing. They are just emails with subject, body and possible attachment. Since I developed email client myself at one time, I know there are lot more thing in it apart from obvious things listed. Yet, they look apparently the same in structure.

Fortunately in case of Emails, we have developed many anti-spam system that use various ways to automatically filter good genuine mails from spams. Its like filtering wheat from chaff. So, we have two place in email, one called the inbox where you normally focus your time while checking in email and other called spam where all those spam mails go in. The email server does no bad to spam mails but is generous enough to give it some time (like a month or two) before deleting it forever. You can have look at it if you want during that period and can even turn it back into good mail(move it back into inbox).

Unfortunately, In case of mind, there is no such thought filtering system. We do not filter our thoughts the same way as emails are. They always end up getting processed by mind resulting into various moods. The good thing is that there are indeed two folders inside our brain for every thoughts just like email, inbox and spam. They behave same way as do emails. But, problem is we don't have filter system in place. Every thought that enters ends up into mind 'inbox'. Result is that we end up processing malicious and wrong thoughts that not only depresses us but encourage us into wrong actions. Just like there email counterparts, they are uncertain and take up huge amount of your minds time. They may fill up your life with regret and lead to your down fall. Worse part is that we tend to process them in real time without giving them time to settle i.e. we think while they are still immature meaning their outcome hasn't manifested itself yet.

We could filter every thought that comes by sending the malicious/depressing ones into spam. Once inside spam that thought gets locked up without getting any attention from mind. After some time just as in case of email, that malicious thought disappears forever. Our mind has very powerful weapon for deleting unnecessary thoughts through process called 'forgetting'. Our brain are made of neurons that die and generate all the time unlike silicons. We could just store such malicious thought in one of those dying neurons. After sometime, we may realize that the filtered malicious thought wasn't actually bad (like thought of your recent breakup which later helped you get into better relationship or pursue your lifetime dream). We may now be store it as good one and cherish it for life time. Its like moving mail marked spam back into inbox. Good thing is we have prevented that thought from affecting us while in immature state. We gave it some evaluation time when we detected its malicious behaviour. If it was unable to get into good one (remained sour for long time), we deleted them forever and once that turned good later, we store it back as good memories. Result is that our mind is full of good thoughts that enrich our lives. As Buddha says, thought reflects our action which in turn reflects our life.

So, next time before thinking about any thought, try taking some time out filtering it and deciding whether its worth your precious time. If its not, just ignore it and put it into mind 'spam' folder and let it die its natural death. You should lead a better life in that way.

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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Co-Existing dual nature: Individualism and Humanity


Everybody is born different and unique. Yet in difference there is similarity which software engineers called Abstraction. There is no way to group different people. There are only extremes. The one end is called humanity where everybody is human: no race, no country, no language, no religion, no profession, etc. The other end is called individualism where everybody is special and unique that goes into DNA structure with other feature stored in brain. Every intermediate level is born out of lack of proper understanding of human science. They can be religion, country, language, profession, etc.

Today in Nepal, there is continuous ongoing talk about groupism and representation for it. There simply seems no end to it. The conflict that arises due to that is hampering daily life and overall development of nation. It is affecting lives of simple people who accept themselves as part of common whole. The result is mess which leaves nobody in good position. If we satisfy the condition where a unique group is properly represented with a fixed location in map of world, then that would come down to level of individual (if not now but later when two subgroups in one group realize that they are not same and need further division which goes recursively till we get to individual level). So, 30 million population would need 30 million different divisions. That can be impossible to generate physically because that would leave one area too small to do any basic job for survival.

The solution is simple. We as individual only own that small area of land that our body covers. Even that area diminishes once our life looses this body. This could be understood from Alexander the great who realized the futility of world conquer idea during his end days. So, when you think from individualism perspective, the idea is simple. You are responsible for that small area you cover at one moment of time, nothing else. You own it and no body has right to displace you except the mighty nature of whom you are part of and who has every right to punish/reward you. At the same time you have to respect the area that other individual around you cover. From the global perspective, nothing is yours. You are just block of a big wall that forms world. Everybody has its part to play. I am surrounded by fellow Nepalese with whom I have cherished a wonderful life. My school and childhood friends all from India represents all my childhood that are ones who understand me very closely. I also work with American people who help me at every step and have learn a lot. I feel as a block that appears at one point in time, plays his part and later at some other point diminishes. During that period of time, many other block also appear while some other disappear whose subset I deal with. From that perspective, You don't have singular representation but have global representation that you form part of. You remain for small part in time however that global body remains forever. You play your part, other play their part. It however appears as though that global body is acting. That global part for me is humanity and not any country or religion or any profession. We are now entering knowledge world from information world where everything will be represented generically. As I said earlier, everything will be abstracted right from top.

At individual level, We are already given freedom by nature to represent ourself. Nature never interferes with it. At global level, We are connected through technology that helps us understand each other at every possible way. It has helped us solve big problems globally as a team and share our sorrows and happiness making it a global event. The greed for representation and right will never end until everybody has killed every other weak person and world is full of exhausted devils who will have land and resources to enjoy but no friend to share that happiness with. Nepalese politicians desperately need to understand this truth and understand co-existing dual nature of being and stop childish fight for right and land of representation. That is only going to sow seeds of destruction.

It reminds of Words from Gita:
I exist in every being, yet I form a global whole

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

My Richness

Alone at my flat room, I was playing song 'Chanda hai tu, mera suraj hai tu' when I suddenly realized the biggest richness I have. It wasn't money or even knowledge or health or friends that most people consider so precious in their life. It was something like the Deewar film reply, Mere paas Maa hai. A small idea just grew into a biggest conclusion of my life suddenly in a second. It was like Nuclear Fission. It happened in a flick of second and grew into something I will value for my life. The richness that I have is simple: Mother.

Let me ask you one question. Imagine your mother. You will imagine a female lady depending on your experience with her that will give you various feelings. But, ask me and I will give you a list of never ending personalities each one conflicting yet true. The reason is simple. I have multiple mothers that you may not have. In my life of 24 years, I never realized it. Today I realized it. It wasn't even like Buddha's meditating posture yet the same feeling what Buddha must have obtained during his nirvana. My life had been shaped and influenced by each of these great personalities. Maybe that is why people find difficult to deal with me because my own personality is conflicting which corresponds to that of my mothers.

My biological mother is ofcourse the first and yet the most special one. The sweetness of my relation with her has grown over time. She has been very protective of me as I have been very weak from my start. She represents everything that parallels with the properties of GOD. When I imagine about her I can only feel courage and confidence that I never felt even with my best of friends.

I also have my step-mother with whom I don't have good relation. My family never had good relations with her and thus that relation was inherited to me too. To me, she represents the dark lord. When I imagine her I get cold with fear that I never felt even with worst of my foes.

I never felt grandfather as both my paternal and maternal grandfathers were dead by time I gained natural consciousness. But, I was gifted by grandmothers on both side. Both have been very influential on me. I lost my paternal grandmother during my undergraduate studies. When I think of her, I see myself in mirror. If you know me, I don't need to describe her. My father strongly bears her characteristics and thus I inherited her characteristics through him. My maternal grandmother represents social figure to me. When I imagine her, I can only see smile. The eternal smile that Buddha emitted after defeating evil Mara.

I was born and grew in India, the mother of billions including me. When I think of her, I feel girl talking Marathi in a speedy yet smart accent. I also feel the warmth of water when you hold for drinking which equals to warmth of my biological mother when I hold her tightly when I am scared.

My motherland is Nepal. When I think of her, I feel eternal peace in a lonely planet far away from the regular crowd. Among peace, I feel strong disturbance that suddenly disrupts my stable mind. I have been seeing goodness and badness separate till now. When thinking of Nepal, I feel both entities converging into one. I can feel the darkness of loadshedding and in it see brightness of hope. It somehow represents me. All conflicting things merged into one. Nepal is land formed out Indian Plate colliding with Asia that gave rise to mighty Himalayas. Maybe we share same origins. We both look at each other and smile, internally.

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Saturday, February 25, 2012

Fun with online forum topic and comments


Its fun sometimes to read a hot topic on online forums like slashdot where comments are more funnt than subject matter itself. Here is one topic I stumbled upon Women More Likely To Unfriend Than Men by Hugh Pickens. It basically concludes that females are more likely to delete existing friend from social media like facebook and males are more likely to regret sharing any post. These two conclusion had their own observation by community and thus followed a long chain of comments. Each comment has its own implication. I just tried to go through it and list some of the important ones. None of the comments are mine. I have just copied them as it is.

Women are more likely to friend people they'll end up unfriending later.
corollary: ...women are less selective, and they add people without thinking about it, and then remove them later when it proves to be a bad idea.... 

Facebook is a technology now? That is kind of like calling Slashdot a "technology."
More like "Women less regretful than men, more likely to blame others."
corollary: Socially women are seen as victims if people misuse or ogle their pictures, where as men are seen as "fair game"

unfriending I see as akin to what I watched a group of girls do in high school. There was about a dozen of them but only 11 could be friends at a time, there was always one girl kicked out of the circle, when she came back they chose another one to be mad at and kicked her out of the circle.

women are more selective than men regarding who to include in their social circle. I could've predicted this from real-world interactions. Women tend to form close-knit cliques. Men will hang with anyone who will get shitfaced drunk with them and commiserate about their problems with women, work, money, etc.

Female's all over the animal kingdom use social exclusion instead of violence in order to punish other females. Exclusion is the primary competitive strategy for all sorts of female animals. Look it up on Wikipedia. Or google it. Its a widely known fact among researchers in the social science. That's how teenage girls bully each other.

Poor grammar and spelling is less objectionable than nasty language. Malice is worse than incompetence.

Women will unfriend someone for wearing the wrong shoes with a skirt, I think men have known this for years.
corollary: ...I've always wondered why so few men wear skirts. Now I know.

What about divorce? Sources say [divorce-la...source.com] that women are initiating divorce in 66% [yahoo.com] of cases.

women come into relationships hoping to change the partner more often (and I believe men come into relationship hoping that the women don't change over time), and both get screwed.

Hope you liked them. There are many more comments. I just caught few of them. You may get more. Just visit the page.

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Some Reflections


As I left Pulchowk Campus after taking my letter for writing final question paper, a thought as usual came on my mind. Is it the worst position I have ever been? My current state has been full of trouble of all sorts. I am suffering from my recurring lower respiratory track infection that I always fear will turn asthmatic one day. This grows worse each time as I commute my way to office and back home. A physically as well as mentally weak person from childhood, It has been difficult for me to convince myself that I will ever survive this big monstrous world. Home has no gas and its weeks since we haven't seen proper cooking of food at home. My past childhood days of kerosene are back and my room smells it. My poor roommate rushed for kerosene on morning chill spilling it all over his body as he carried it back home. Its not my poverty that is causing but the state of the nation I am in that reflects this. As I am typing this blog, I am having current loadshedding that I have been facing from the day I crossed into Nepalese border 9 years ago. A small nation yet so unmanaged in all respects that it is one of the poor nation of the world. Scarcity has been implanted so much into my blood that I have this obsession on preventing every kind of resource wastage. Work has been my trouble too. Work pressure caused by improper management and high expectation has been prime source of problem. Its like daily struggle for no goal. Plus being away from home is such a big pain. Half of my problem would sublime if I get the warmth of people around me who don't pretend but feel me internally.

But, suddenly I try thinking of the positive sides of it. Man does not live for happiness, he lives for his dreams and passion. He lives for proving that he has ability to fulfill his goal. I still remember dreaming of teaching one day at pulchowk, a dream college for most of students in nepal as I entered a college far away from kathmandu, rarely heard of. Its not big to have dreams, its still not big to ignore it later. But, what is big is the sacrifice you make to achieve it. Currently, work pressures are immense but the responsibility of my shoulders to lead my team makes me feel proud of myself. A weak person from childhood who always feared that my voice will disappear among crowd, I am representing voice of my team. Its like a roar that echoes and baffles the minds of people. My passionate mind is so much blinded that it has started to ignore the normal human instincts of fear and care. Similarly, I feel I am representing the voice of troubled units. That unit may be my family, my city, my team, my country or even my human race. Suddenly, my fear looses grip and I feel stronger in face of problems. I gain courage to smile at it. Its like becoming so much strong internally that normal external senses dont have any effect.  

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Monday, January 2, 2012

Never take things for granted

Many times in our life, we tend to take things for granted. Especially when we have them without putting our effort. We stop taking them seriously. They can be people who love you, things that you use on daily basis or special times or even sweet memories of your past. They make you special and thus give reason for envy by other people who lack them. But, the real problem is you, yourself don't value it. You think it as if its like a 'usual' thing and feel like a burden somehow. Maybe you are used to it now. Late teenage is the age everybody wants to have. However, a late teenager dislikes it and feels like escaping it as soon as possible rather than enjoying it.

But, in that process you tend to forget the actual effort you put that made you own it. Human mind tends to forget things with time and only reminds good memories. It tends to neglect area of previous effort or problems to stay positive. This helps you to move ahead but also makes you forget the importance of what you have right now. They are the result of your efforts that you put in times of tensions. A warm house during your retired life is result of lifetime work that you did in a cold, dark house. Remember, Nothing is free, not even your life!! They have been possible just because of your previous effort or work. Also, we have been so passionate about life and things we want, that we forget what we already have. Best, example I learn was from myself. When I moved to big room recently, I desperately wanted a table. In that passion for new table, I forgot the warm extra blanket I had that was left unused and was a nuisance for me. Months later, I realized that same blanket could provide a warm cushion which could be more useful than table itself especially in cold seasons. I roamed entire Kathmandu street for table. But, in that search I forgot the more desperate search for blanket done two years before. My mind was blinded by hope/goal of getting a new table and forgot what I already had that would actually solve my problem without cost!

Same goes for things/people we have. We are surrounded by people who value/love us, things that make our life beautiful, past memories that have changed us and made us what we are today. We just need to stop our passionate mind that is always on search of new things/people/memories and let it focus on things/people/memories that we already have. Only then we will realize the true value of these things. Also, they will calm our unstable mind because these things are already ours and their is no fear of not getting them. They also will make you proud of yourself for owning such a beautiful thing and what can be more amazing than feeling good of your own self?

Picture taken from http://www.motifake.com

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